Dating love from du
A man who joins you when you chant—who does not run away when your gaze turns inward.Such a man remembers the sacred power of women who made him, shaped him and taught him to love.
A man who smiles when you speak of wings, dragons and is not afraid of the wild tangle of your imagination. And even when I let it out of my chest, it wasn’t love. Telling someone you love them doesn’t mean that you do. The dates she liked didn't write her back, and her own profile attracted crickets (and worse).He has not forgotten to respect the Earth and her denizens. Date a man who knows you are magical, yet does not fear nor hate that mystery in you—for this man is your equal.He will challenge your pride with his own, will check your obstinacy with his, will honor your intelligence by matching it.When you momentarily forget the brilliance of the light you carry, the silvered glass of his knowing will reflect it for you.
When doubt eclipses the glow that sustains you, his faith will ease it. Truly, what is more powerful than being able to recognize magic in others?
So, as any fan of data would do: she started making a spreadsheet.
Hear the story of how she went on to hack her online dating life — with frustrating, funny and life-changing results.
There was no way I could keep that dating fire burning as practicality invaded our lives. Something I haven’t wanted to admit for a long time, but is undeniable.
And even worse, it seemed that the harder I tried to be sentimental and lovey-dovey, the less it was reciprocated. Or, once we had a daughter, when I shared the responsibility of watching over her. Because as our marriage progressed, I found myself offering to help out around the house more and more. It took me longer than I care to admit to understand what was happening. Through giving, through doing things for my wife, the emotion that I had been so desperately seeking naturally came about. An emotion that, once had, somehow magically stays within a marriage forever. And I’m saddened to think about how much those messages bounced around in my head for so long.
I wanted to tell her on the first date, but I knew that would probably be weird. She kind of gave me this half-shy, half-amused smile. But as time has gone on, I also realized that she knew something that I didn’t. I tried so hard to keep that fire going, to keep that emotion alight, but it got harder and harder. And what was even more interesting was that once I realized this on a conscious level, and started trying to find more opportunities to give, the more we both, almost intuitively, became lovey-dovey. From the excitement of dating a woman I felt like I could marry. Imagine a whole nation of people constantly chasing the emotions they had when they were dating. That’s a recipe for disastrous marriages; for a country with a 50% divorce rate; for adultery (the classic attempt to turn the fire back on); for people who do stay together to simply live functional, loveless marriages. How many people are in pain simply because they’ve been lied to.