Being just friends after dating
I mentioned my predicament to Jessica, and she excitedly revealed that her good friend had just moved to the city I was visiting.She quickly connected us via Facebook, where her friend and I immediately hit it off and subsequently spent the whole weekend together.
“Let’s stay friends” has become as much of an empty phrase as “let’s do something again soon! But what happens when you actually want to be friends – is it possible? Before you jump into friendship, ask yourself if you are doing it because you really just want to keep her in your life, or because you hope she’ll change her mind and want to date you? I went out with a guy last winter for a few dates and while we got along very well, it just, well, wasn’t there for me.This friendship-first approach has fundamentally changed my understanding of dating and relationships.Observe what happened next…A year after meeting Jessica, I needed to travel to a new city for work and I realized that I had no place to stay there.Last year, I met a girl named Jessica on Ok Cupid and we agreed to meet up and go on an adventure date throughout Seattle.We explored new neighborhoods, meandered through parks, and people-watched out of a coffee shop’s balcony.Sometimes, people have no choice but to remain cordial with an ex flame. If they will inevitably have to see each other, it will be much easier in the long run if they avoid the drama and just get along. You may have both decided that you want to remain friends after your fling or relationship, but that doesn’t mean you have to dive in headfirst. If you go a few weeks without seeing each other, that’s okay. Limit communication initially to once or twice per week. When you do start seeing each other again socially, try to make sure it happens in a group setting.
They may be colleagues or have some other professional relationship. [Read: 9 steps you can take to be friends with your ex flame] Can it really be done? It’s probably even better to try and keep your distance for a little while. Go out with mutual friends and try to treat each other like you would any other friend.
Nothing else in the world complicates things between two people like sex.
Sex is so fraught with our most powerful emotions – love, lust, and jealousy – that it can make people totally irrational.
I explained this to him, and he said he understood but he wanted to be my friend after he took some time.
So a couple weeks later when he reached out asking if we could get drinks I happily accepted. We’d go out every few weeks or so and drink too much beer and he’d regale me with stories of his dates, good and bad.
We kept things friendly and fun rather than expecting things to turn romantic or physical right away.